What was God thinking about to leave such a deadly tree lying around in Eden? Just standing there, dangerous, desirable.
Do you ever wonder if God doesn’t have second thoughts about the whole Adam and Eve affair: “if only I’d made that snake a little bit dumber, or the earth creatures a bit smarter, or that tree just a bit taller…” God must really kick herself sometimes.
Don’t you reckon you could have done a better job of it yourself? Eden, I mean. If it were me, there’d have been no snakes and no funny fruit trees … and while we’re at it let’s get rid of the mosquito, the poison oak, the common cold. Personally, I could do without Melrose Place too. And I hate cats—allergies, you know—and this is Eden we’re talking about—paradise, heaven on earth—so why not go for the gold? Why can’t we have California … without the earthquakes, without the fires, the floods, oh, and the pollen, the people, the car exhaust, the VISA bills.
Come to think of it, God, you did a damned, lousy job. You should be having second thoughts. Couldn’t you foresee all the generations of grief in that one bitten apple? The heartache, the pain, the violence. War, abuse, sickness. Death, God, death! Wasted lives, broken hearts, empty dreams.
We are in pain, damn it! We are naked and stupid and alone and afraid. We can’t see our way forward. We fail to hear you in the evening breeze. We have no words to soothe our fears.
So what are you going to do about it? What?
Jesus took him aside in private and put his fingers into his ears, and he spat and touched his tongue. Then Jesus looked up to heaven, groaning. “Be opened!” he said, “Be opened!”